Lesson #6. Don't use bad words.

When you hear the phrase "don't use bad words", what comes to mind?  Probably a bunch of swears that you picked up along the way.  There are a handful of words that have a real negative connotation. A long time ago, I worked with a girl in her early twenties.  She was Hawaiian, with gorgeous long black hair and amber skin.  Her eyes were so big and beautiful that they almost seemed fake.  She was absolutely stunning.  But she said the F-word all the time.  That word uttered from her lips was like nails on a chalkboard.  Oh, how awful.  I even broke down and told her one day, but she was just too cool to hear what I had to say.  

I used to swear too.  All sorts of bad words.  They felt kind of powerful and sometimes even funny.  Everyone I hung out with did it.  It falsely created a symbol of trust and intimacy among those of us that were friends.  At the time, I thought it made me look more grown up and secure with myself.  And then it became a habit.  I used words I shouldn't at the wrong times, often times making me feel like a boob.  I don't do that anymore.  I still struggle with the word 'crap', but I can live with that.


Now that we have the swear word issue out of the way, I'd like to tell you what bad words I'm actually referring to.  F-words and s-words and a-words are nasty little things to utter, but don't have the long term damage that the following words can have on a person.  Those words sound bad, but what I'm ready to talk about FEEL bad.


1. Can't.   Mind over matter.  Perhaps you aren't tall enough yet to reach the high cabinets.  OK, you can't reach the bowls.  Or maybe you haven't got your drivers license. Fair enough, you can't drive the car.  We all have personal limitations of one kind or another. And obviously, there are things we truly can't do.  However, can't seems to sneak into our vocabulary early in life.  It's used as a free ticket to not try.  It's used as an excuse to not persevere and fail over and over.  There really aren't very many things that are fun when you stink at it.  We all remember how frustrating learning to tie our shoelaces could be.  Or how about learning to ride a bike?  Instead of focusing on the fact that you currently can't do it, why not focus on what you can and will do!

 Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.   
Mark Twain  

2. Impossible.  It is impossible to live without air.  Short of that, just about anything is possible.  You want to fly? Try hang gliding, flying in an airplane, jumping out of a plane or para-sailing.  You want to be the next president of the USA?  Figure out your final destination and make a solid plan.  It is when we start accepting that certain things are impossible that we start giving up on dreams and goals.  Don't tell yourself things are impossible, it'll come back to bite you.  And frankly, you might create the impossibility.  How sad would it be if the only thing holding you back from achieving the most awesome and spectacular dreams in your life........................was YOU?!?!?!  Don't convince yourself of things that are untrue.  It will only cause you harm and hold back your potential. 

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!
Audrey Hepburn 

3. Imperfect.  Perfectly imperfect is what I like to call it.  When you have kids of your own, you will see that though they look different, they are all the most perfectly beautiful children in the entire world.  And I believe that God created you just the way he wanted and he thinks you are beautiful too.  So, why should we focus and dwell on a part of us that isn't perfect?  Because you are perfect.  How confusing is that?  How can it be possible to be the perfect person and imperfect at the same time?  By embracing and accepting our own and others flaws.  They are what make us different.  They make us interesting.  Now, I'm not telling you to just sit back and take your skills or your body as you see it and turn on the TV.  What I'm saying is, is that we are all given the gift of a blank canvas (our body and soul) and it is God's hope that you will do your best with it.  Take care of yourself inside and out.  Whatever you do don't compare yourself to others.  You should only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday!

You cannot plow a field by turning it over in your mind.  ~Author Unknown

Trust me on this.  Noone will ever say that life is easy, but filling your thoughts with negative reasons on why it's hard will only grow the problem.  Know in your heart that you are capable.  Know that you are beautiful.  Know that you are going to have a spectacular life.  Some people believe that people enjoy the things they are good at.  I agree.  There are rare cases where people are instantly musical prodigies.  Some people naturally have not a single blemish on their skin.  Fortunately, the majority of us have to work hard for everything!  I say fortunately because hard work gives us a special appreciation for it. Speak kindly to yourself and others.  People like to here positive things about themselves.  And if there was ever a habit I would wish upon anyone, it would be the "I can conquer anything" attitude.  

So, f%*! all those bad words.  They don't mean S!*@!!!!!!!!    (Ugh. See how icky that is?!?!?)