Lesson #21. Have a role model.

Example has more followers than reason.   ~John Christian Bovee

Most smokers come from homes where parents smoke.  In fact, studies show that children of smokers are twice as likely to start smoking between the ages of 12 and 21 than those of parents who don't smoke.  I can almost guarantee that these parents haven't encouraged their children to smoke.  I can't picture them sitting little Becky down and telling her what a great stress reliever smoking is and how she should take it up ASAP. Quite the contrary.  These parents know, even more so than a non-smoker, that starting is the worst thing you can do.  And yet kids see our actions much more clearly than they hear our words.

 Studies also watched the behavior as it relates to obesity.  They also found that 48 percent of children with overweight parents became overweight, compared with 13 percent of those with normal-weight parents.  Ouch!  With the epidemic of an overweight society on our hands, what does this mean for the future of American children?  If you eat the wrong foods or too much of them, it's likely your kids will too.  If you don't make exercise a part of your life, they probably won't either. Kids are going to follow your lead as far as taking care of themselves, so modeling behavior you wish for them to adopt is crucial.

We all hope our kids will be bright, successful and wise adults.  The truth is, what they look up to, is what they will model.  It is extremely difficult to break out of a mold that you have grown up in.  It is hard for people to sway from what they see as the norm.  Have you ever tried to break a bad habit? No fun.  It can almost make you feel a little crazy in your head.  Almost like writing with the wrong hand. Kids need to be led.  Kids need a role model (or two or three) that they can use as a reference as they grow up. 

Aside from the usual parent role model, there is also something bigger than that out there.  Role models come in all shapes, sizes and backgrounds.  There are stories of fame, strength, and smarts.  Kids latch on the role models for a variety of reasons, but mostly because they are enamored by what the person stands for or has accomplished.  Given the right role model, it can be extremely motivating. For a parent to notice a role model in a child's life is wonderful, because it allows the parent and child to talk about why that person is spotlighted in the child's life.  It gives great insight into the inner workings of what is valued in your child. 

Recently, my 8 year old daughter, Jane, watched Soul Surfer.  It is the story of Bethany Hamilton, the surfer who lost an arm in a shark attack in Hawaii.  Jane latched onto this movie like a favorite blanket.  She asked many questions throughout the movie and continued to talk about it the next morning on the way to school.  This has been the first time I've ever seen my child so moved by a person's story.  I believe Bethany is a big inspiration to all of us so we have divulged in any information we can dig up on her website and the internet so Jane can see the full scope of this young woman's life thus far. It's been almost a week now and the questions continue.  Though Jane made it clear that she is bummed out that we don't live by the ocean so she could surf, she seemed game for trying skateboarding...which Bethany did as well.  

I find myself thrilled that my daughter would choose such an honorable role model instead of the hot to trot little pop stars (though she also LOVES Justin Bieber) and I want to keep the ball rolling.  Bethany has inspired tons of people.  She has encouraged other amputees and young surfers just learning the ropes.  She has also shown people her love for God.   This girl has taken a tragic accident and used it to touch people all over the globe.  Seriously...who doesn't want to make that kind of impact???   Even with the high price she paid, her commitment to others is ten fold.

Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness,heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the heck with sugar and spice.  ~~Bethany Hamilton

As a parent, I know that even with all the best intention, I am an imperfect person.  To be real honest, I wouldn't want my kids to follow a lot of the things I've done.  My hope is that they will see me for what I am now and not how I got here.  I will encourage role models that they welcome into their lives because I know that the impact of peoples actions can be more motivating than Mommy yapping about what they should and shouldn't do.  As the old saying goes....actions do speak louder than words.....even if they are someone else's actions!  Get that ball rolling!!!