Lesson #20. Make a big deal out of the (good) little things.

Yesterday, Alice turned 6!  She had a fun day all around and fell into bed already half asleep before bedtime. Our goal for the day was that she know how much we love her, value her and how extremely special she is.  We wrote messages on our van, decorated the house in pink, and I even tried my "no-so-Martha-Stewartish-hand" at a princess Barbie cake!  Nothing was expensive or hard to do, but it took effort.  Most importantly, it took knowing our little girl and what she would love to make this day special for her.

We hear it all the time, don't we? Don't sweat the small stuff.  Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. Valid messages, but what about when the little stuff is GOOD? I agree that when you over analyze or dwell on a negative that it grows legs.  Meaning that losing perspective on a small issue by talking it over and over or thinking about it too much makes a little thing bigger than it is.  It allows that little issue too much space in our life.  In the long run, it creates negativity and sour feelings over things that shouldn't be given that much energy.  

Let's not minimize a birthday, because I think most of us already know that those are a pretty big deal.  I'm talking about celebrating little moments with gusto.  Showing the people we love that we have noticed them and want to celebrate them.  Do things for your friends and family that shows that you've noticed what's important to them.  Ask how their day was and really listen.  Don't just tell them you love them....show them.

A while back, I started something with my daughters that is so simple, but it means a lot to them.  Every Monday or Tuesday, after dinner, I take one of them to go run a few errands. We rotate back and forth weekly, they keep track so I don't have to.  The errands aren't anything more than running to Wal-Mart or the craft store though sometimes we'll stop at McDonald's for an ice cream cone.  It never lasts for more than a few hours, but with three kids in the house, they long for one on one time.  At first, the one who stayed home would pout and stomp around because they didn't get to go, but it was quickly resolved once they saw the routine being created.   I figured out what was important to them and did it! 

With my husband, I find that staying a step ahead of him is what he notices.  When I take his truck and it's low on gas, I'll fill it up.  If he's mowing the lawn, I'll have tea waiting on the porch.  I love when he asked me for something or mentions that he has an errand to run and I can tell him it's already done.  It's cheap, it's easy, but he notices that I thought of him.  


Feeling appreciated and loved is like fuel for our soul.  Positive reinforcement works.  Wouldn't it be a better if more people focused on and celebrated the positive things in life rather than the negative?  Wouldn't you be more motivated by celebrating small accomplishments rather than hearing about your mistakes?   And frankly, people already know what they need to work on and it probably already takes up too much space in their head.  Most us have the tendency to digest the negative and feel embarrassed of the positive.


Well, I say, heck no!  I'm not going to spend my time telling what your doing wrong.  I'm going to celebrate the A on your spelling test and the good attitude you had when you cleaned your room.  I'm going to make a big stinking deal out of your birthday and Valentine's day and maybe even President's day.  Who knows, maybe you will be president some day!