Lesson #19. There is a lot to be said for keeping your shirt on.

We've all seen those pictures.  Girls drunk, girls topless, girls puking.  It sure does muster up some gross images, doesn't it?  At times, these pictures are funny or just so bad that you can't help but to look.  Unfortunately, people do look...a lot!  Google good girl and you get the opposite.  Google drunk girls and there are almost 4.5 million results.  Oh, all those Mothers must be so proud of their daughters.  Most of us will find ourselves in a party situation a few times during our young adult years, but you need keep your shirt on and your head straight.

Let's fast forward through any drunken shenanigans.  You've now done high school and college and are ready to start your career.  You get your resume looking tip top and dress your best.  You deliver it to the potential employer.  The employer is impressed.  They are ready to hire you.  And then, they Google your name or look at your Facebook page.  This is where you need to make sure you haven't set yourself up for an indecent failure.

Now, in some careers, it may not matter, but in others, it's vital.  Let's hope that elementary schools aren't hiring young teachers with topless photos online.  Can you imagine?  What if you decided to get into politics?  You're drunken or nude pictures will be dug up and everyone will see them.  What if you want to become a lawyer or doctor and every time someone searches the internet to check credentials, your breasts are the first thing they see.  Probably something of your past, but no less something that will hurt you.

One day, you will meet your significant other.  Any person with class wouldn't want to be associated with someone who thinks it's funny to be so drunk that you would allow topless or "bathroom" pictures to be taken.  On the same note, I would hope you would run from that as well.  People that are so out of control or so lacking in morals aren't going to go very far.

And then there is your Mother, Father and someday your own children.  If you wouldn't take nude pictures of yourself in front of me or Dad, don't do it.  You wouldn't get so drunk that you are out of control with us either, do don't set yourself up to be taken advantage of.  Some day, you will probably have your own kids and you won't want them to stumble on indecent photos of you.  

My message is this.  It's not a good idea to be out and about acting like a fool.  Those actions will track you down and hurt you.  Unless you strive to be a porn star or a reality TV star, they will embarrass you.  (And by the way, you aren't allowed to do porn or reality TV....Mom and Dad say so.) 

Pictures speak volumes about our character, especially when these pictures are revealing.  People, employers, even colleges use the internet every day to get an idea of what a person is like.  Over exposing yourself will do you no good.  And what's even worse about it is that it will be floating around in cyberspace......forever.

Again, I know you're going to go out and have fun (sign...gasp), but use your head.  Don't ever get so out of control that you are doing things you wouldn't want Gramma to see.  And for heavens sake, keep your shirt on!!! 

Lesson #18. Enjoy the hot, the cold and everything in between.

It doesn't matter if the water is cold or warm if you're going to have to wade through it anyway.  ~~Teilhard de Chardin 

Life is going to throw you good times and bad.  Some of it will be within our control, other times, not so much.  The only thing you can always control is your reaction to it.  As a young and immature person, tough times would often times leave me throwing a 'woe is me' party.  I wasn't able to see that it takes tough times and happy times to live a full life.  Without trials, how could we possibly enjoy the simple moments? 

What if every failure caused people to give up?  What if every challenging relationship ended?  What if Albert Einstein was a quitter?

 

Listen to what Otto Neugebauer, a historian of science, said about Albert Einstein:

As he was a late talker, his parents were worried. At last, at the supper table one night, he broke his silence to say, "The soup is too hot."Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before.  Albert replied, "Because up to now everything was in order." 

 In 1895, at the age of 17, Albert Einstein applied for early admission into the Swiss          Federal Polytechnical School (Eidgenössische Technische Hochschule or ETH). He passed the math and science sections of the entrance exam, but failed the rest (history, languages, geography, etc.)! Einstein had to go to a trade school before he retook the exam and was finally admitted to ETH a year later.

Can you imagine?  People are often times right on the very edge of success when they hit a pothole....and retreat.  Oh, the tragedy. Know that handling those potholes with dignity and wisdom will get you further in the end!  Personal failures are expected in life.  If we were perfect, life would be pretty boring.

There are also uncontrollable bad times.  Perhaps a family member gets very ill or passes away.  Maybe you lose your job and suffer through financial hardship.  Maybe someone does something horrible to you.  Unfortunately, it happens.  That's part of life.  One thing that I have learned over the years is that the way you handle these trials far outweighs the trial itself.

How you view these tough times illuminates who you are.  We've all seen it.  Someone gets served a meal that isn't up to par or is graded poorly on a school paper.  Arms flail.  Maybe they mutter under their breath.  And then, in a worst case scenario, the blame is passed.  Please don't fall victim to the blame game.  Even if it truly is someone else's fault, what good will it do anyone to dwell on it?  Fix it, try harder, ask for a remedy.....quickly and politely. 

My message to you is to appreciate all the moments we live through, hot or cold.  There are moments to enjoy and moments to endure.  Lessons to be learned and sometimes lessons to teach.  Without tough times, happy times will feeling fleeting.  Savour those happy moments, however small they may be!

Have the courage to act instead of react.   ~~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Lesson #17. Smell my finger. (and other times you should say no)

"Go ahead, Mom...smell it.  Yeah, I know I'm sweaty and covered in dirt.  Come on, please! Why not?  Please smell my finger".  Any takers?  Didn't think so.   There isn't much less appetizing than a grubby little finger getting shoved in your face.  Well, this isn't going to be about stinky fingers or pulling fingers or anything like that.  It's really about knowing when to say no and doing it in a way that you will be heard.

We've all been in that situation where someone wants us to do something that we're just not up for.  Whether its lack of time or that it interferes with our morals, there will be times when a 'no' is in order, regardless of how uncomfortable it is for you or the receiver. There will be big no's and small ones.  Some that come easy and others will make you squirm.  Some no's will be serious, others kind of funny.  

Knowing and standing up for yourself is a building block to your future.  Knowing who you are as a person is more important than knowing what you are (as in a career).  Sticking up for yourself by putting your foot down is sometimes a very necessary.  Though sometimes a challenge, you will be stronger for doing it.  As young people, we are succumb to peer pressure.  Decide who you are and stick to your guns.  

You will find that as you get older, your days become shorter.  I know that's hard to believe, but it really does feel that way.  And once you have your own children, you will see that being pulled in three directions from kids, work, husband, friends, etc. can get tiresome.  You and your time become the hot commodity.  Just getting the basics done in a day can be overwhelming, but when someone asks to get your help or to watch their kids...a challenging day can become pretty brutal quickly.  Most people love to help friends and family and the school where their kids go, just keep yourself in check.  If you spread yourself too thin, you aren't worth much to anyone.

People will always want to to agree with them and do what they want you to do.  Letting people down gently is something you should firmly and honestly.  Don't give excuses and reasons that aren't really true.  Honesty goes a long way. Especially, when someone asks you to do something wrong.  Saying no to peer pressure shows your friends that you are confident enough to stand your ground.  Although they may pick on you initially, they will ultimately respect you for being the strong one.  Be the leader...not the follower.

No is a powerful word that should be used wisely.  Be polite, but firm.  Say no and mean it!

The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes. ~~Tony Blair